La Petite Mort

La Petite Mort
(By Steve Hobbs)

Crew spun legends of the Flying Dutchman, the fanciful tails told to new swabs to keep them spry on watch in the small hours of the morning are common place but few sailors know the real horrors that roam the Caribbean nights. Mentioned in hexes and whispers by only the saltiest of sea rovers, The La Petite Mort is enough to make a tea toting Puritan turn to the bottle. A cold sweat, a quiver down the spine and a cry in the night for the Almighty are the last things a sailor may ever experience.

Les Bien Hores

Les Bien Hores

With a black flag and a heart to match Captain Pedazo de Culo has terrorized the Spanish main for the last 2 years. Formally a English colonial textile miller with no formal training in sailing or Spanish, he went completely berserk after finding his new bride in the arms of his castilian wet nurse. In a fit of rage Martin burned his town house to the ground and left the two standing at the shore line as he sailed off in a stolen dinghy. His first boarding action was logged and recanted later by his crew as Martin rowing up to the side of the first vessel flying the Spanish ensign he could find. Then being helped on board by the boatswain, Martin announcing to the captain he was personally declaring war on Spain and threw the Officer overboard.
It goes without mention that we were a bit tak'n a back by this castaway over throwing the ship at first. When he first say's his name es "Motin." We were like Mutiny? Yea we haven't seen pay in a month. El Capitain's Espanol es dreadful pero....ahh we try our best to get his orders carried out. We still don't really understand the name of the ship he picked "The good hours?" We think it has something to do with his wife.
(Sucio Carlos, Able seaman)

Fregate Marseille

Tensions in the Caribbean have been high since the arrival of a new British warship and not wanting his interests to run afoul Louis the XIV has dispatched the Fregate Marseille (Frigate Marseilles EN.) to appease his edgy local governors. The ship has made birth at Fort-Nicanville (pronounced: Fornication-vil in FR.) not to duel with the British ship-of-the-line but rather to drive away the influx of scalawags that are no longer welcome in the English King's waters. The Frigate Marseilles a 26 gun, fully rigged warship has not entered the Caribbean without the notice of the other colonial settlements. More than a few times the captain's unintentionally engaged English speaking merchants by simply hailing for news.

"They came up right next to us like they were want'n to trade and parley. Then her captain shouted "Ahoy! Fregate Marseille to English Vessel." They never loosed a shot but after we heard they gave no quarter our captain ran like hell....."

The "Rood Dijk"

For 98 years the banner of the Vereenigde Oost-Indische Compagnie or VOC has monopolized on trade from the new world to the Far East. In her armada of cargo laden fluyts, Junks and galleys seemingly unnoticed passes discrete and deadly vessels tasked to aggressive negotiations. Many a troublesome Governor have overlooked tariff after a company bombard ketch dropped anchor in his harbor and iron on his customs house. Too well known to the Brethren of the coast is the say’n to dally to long in a pirates haven attracts the company and a meal for the ravens.

Beneath the ensign of the United East India Company and the billowing canvas of little more than a yacht, the ROOD DIJK, Red Dike in Dutch, hides a 13 inch mortar used for trade liquidation in hostile takeovers. The Dijk in a matter of a few commodity exchanges can bring a bull market to a crashing halt. It is said that the Ketch got its name from the vessel’s first skipper that drunkenly reminisced of the red tulips of a lush valley that he knew as a young man. Seems no man of his hamlet was allowed entry and was often driven away by the frigid approach.

H.M.S. Titan Uranus

The HMS Titan Uranus, the dominant power of the British Crown in the new world is commanded by Rear Admiral Philip McCavity. A grand vessel to say the least, filled with the finniest British seamen in the Caribbean has done her best to bring taxable goods safely to port. This fifty-two gun, fourth rate ship of the line to most navies, has dominated the sea-lanes east of Hispaniola and makes birth at Port Manteau a prominent English stronghold in the West Indies.

Nothing makes a scalawag clinch up like the sound of a bow cannon shot across his Poop deck and the cry of "TITAN URANUS OFF OUR STERN!" quoted a beaming midshipman of the Royal navy.

Small Craft advisory.


Nothing quite says British Naval Superiority like the prowl carving of a preening cherub clutching the Ensign of St. George's Cross.

The Pinnace "Enya"

Smuggling in the new world is the second oldest profession, right behind taxation and only because women were frightful bad luck on ships. Small craft like the Pinnace Enya have served as couriers, duty free traders and cut rate transportation for those unable to afford the high tariffs of the crown. Not much of a prize for pirates and too costly for the crown to waste resources chasing down, the skipper of the Enya quietly slip in and out of ports around the Caribbean making a fair living.

The Salty Swallow

Blockade running for nearly a decade the Swallow boasts a spotless log of no lost seamen before the mast. Her skipper B.J. O'Toole an Irishman of Limerick with a notable aptitude for short anapest metered poems has made a name for himself and vessel by running contraband and individuals avoiding the English crown from Caracas to St. Kitts.
"For the French I not be a like'n, but thar' colors I'll not be Strike'n. Under thar' lettre de course I strike the English with nary remorse. Kill'n every limey bastard among'um."
Skipper B.J. O'Toole